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The Archive, October 2000






No More Corners:
We have to report that Briarhop Corners is no more due to the death of it's creator Joel Rose. Joel was a regular writer from Ohio where he had a long career as a TV anchor man. We have managed to locate an archived copy of the January, 2000 edition of Briarhop Corners.

If you would like to say goodbye to Joel & Briarhop Corners the Briarhop Guest book seems like a good place to do that.


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Is Irene
Selling Out?

The Red Mushroomman Rumours were rife this week when it was implied that web famous Irene De Mandible was exploiting her unique understanding of fungi in order to make a living. Being a rumour, this might not be the whole story or the real story. Those that know her and her work have suggested that this could be but a small part of a bigger picture.

Be that as it may, there IS a web site and it IS selling mushroom like men or men like mushrooms, additionally this site IS owned by an IRENE. We wonder what is going on here.


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Allergy To Close
Sanctuary Plea:

Not Tofu News has reach us of an emergency at the Australian Tofu Sanctuary, set up by Phyllis Euglena of TofuWatch Australia after the International Tofu Commission failed to establish a Pacific Rim Tofu Sanctuary to protect Japanese tofu from over exploitation.

According to Ms Euglena her mother, who manages the sanctuary, has developed an allergy to tofu and has been advised by her physician to desist. "We're at our wit's end," Ms Euglena told the Chronicle, "perhaps someone in Wymsey has had experience of tofu allergy and knows how to alleviate this condition. We don't want to let down the tofu and would not like for mum to leave."

If you can help please contact the Chronicle and we will forward suggestions to Ms Euglena.

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Local Jungian
Upsets Dancers:

Dr Ben Becula, Jungian Local theoretical Jungian and anthropologist Dr Ben Becula has caused uproar in academic circles and controversy in these environs by his heated defence of men dressing up and dancing. "We don't need this kind of attention." said Gordon Chumpley of the Wymsey All Male Pavement Dancing Team. Selwyn Swandown of the Wymsey Morris Men told the Chronicle, "He should keep his nose out of our affairs, we don't need no theoretical justifications for what we does, matey." A spokesman for the encamped Octa Andes (see last weeks Chronicle) commented, "We left the Andes to get away from these nosey people, always asking stupid question like did we believe the world would end if the sun didn't rise and did we think that the souls of our ancestors resided in guinea pigs. Darn menace those anthropologists are Mister."
Dr Becula was unperturbed when we phoned him, "Water off a tin roof young man, there's a lot of unconscious behaviour that gets missed."

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Autumn Blues?
suck
Dah Dits
The Wymsey Cough Drop
official supplier to the Sydney Olympics


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Now stocked by the
Chicago Public Library

ISNA

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Contact the Wymsey Chronicle
Loafer Upsets
Whole Village:

Wymsey was beside itself this week after comments by Kirstan Adams of the Creative Loafer of Atlanta. "It's unexplainable, it's Wymsey Village," is what Ms Adams had to say about the Village. "Unexplainable?" commented unmarried retired schoolmaster and Parish Councilor, John Applegate, 55, "I don't get it." Other villagers were less reticent, "That get's me, matey, that does. They don't come much simpler than us. 'Tain't as if she comes from Ohio or Texas. Me, I always thought them Georgians was sophisticates, like." So commented local pig breeder and smallholder, Leslie Smith.

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Vera's VeggiBurgers - fine non-meat food.

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Genetic Experiments
Escalate:

Genetic expriments escape into the environs. Montantrum Bionics were this week denying that escapees from BEASTS (Basingstoke Environmental Animal and Seed Trials Station) were being bred and sold openly. "We may have done work with goats, we may have done work with chickens but we have not conducted experiments combining genes from both species thereby creating egg laying goats. If we had we would deny it." A spokesperson told the Chronicle.

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WCR Broadcasting to Wymsey

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get your dog done
at
Pollys Poodle Palace
Wymsey 2828


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Millennium Gnome
Was A Mistake:

Hideous mistake admits ex-councillorIn a startlingly emotional press briefing this week, ex-Parish Councilor, failed European Parliamentary candidate and Church Warden, Julius Blaah admitted that in retrospect the concept of the Millennium Gnome had been ill conceived. "It was too ambitious a project for the Parish Council. In another place in another time it would have been a wonderful Statement but I see now that it was too big for Wymsey."

The giant gnome would have been 350 feet tall and the ex-councilor, when in office, had predicted that over 12 million people would visit the Wymsey Gnome during this pre-millennial year. It only took three brave men to ensure the Gnome's downfall, see NoNomesNohow, sic for the full story of democratic assertion.


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A Happy Fall to all our readers in
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania.
Mechanicsburg, Bland County, Virginia.
Mechanicsburg, Illinois.
and Mechanicsburg, Ohio.

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Where to go:


button Wymsey People
Wymsey Things
Wymsey Village