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Wymfest 2000 edition


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Mungo Gerry's
Afternoon Tea service:

The Tea ServiceOnce again, the Festival Committee are pleased to announce that fine refreshments will be supplied by Mungo Gerry's Afternoon Tea Service. The Tea Service is fondly recalled by those who have sampled their wares, their range of teas is legendary and includes such rarities as Oblong Shu Song, Orange Peekaboo, Gumpowder, Wild Cheri, Earl Gay and Old English Brunch Tea as well Argentinian Matt Grey. Naturally the Tea Service has foresworn teabags and instant coffee.

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Festival Goers
Boycott Oriental Tofu

After being alerted by vigorous Australian campaigner, Phyllis Euglena, in her regular newsletter from down there, this week the Festival Committee declared WymFest 2000 a Japanese Tofu Free Event.
tofu hunters on Mount Fuji
This is in keeping with similar action being taken throughout the world, except in the USA where the authorities are attempting to claim that the tofu is a food product in order to be able to continue to import cheap cameras.

If you feel as badly about this as we do then we encourage you to make known your feelings to the ITC ( itc@tofu.com and the Japanese Cultural Mission & Saki Parlour, Watchester. You might also like to contact Lily Third of TofuWatch UK ( thurd@tofuwatch.co.uk ).
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Dancing Elephants Arrive
Bertie Transom's Dancing ElephantsExcitement spread through the village on Wednesday when Bertie Transom's pantechnicon arrived in Wymsey, it was a good job that the Infants School had already broken up for the summer holidays otherwise it is certain that a riot would have ensued.Bertie Transom at WymFest 2000. Bertie Tramsom's team of dancing elephants are the guests of farmer and ace reporter, Charlie Stebbings, at Wymsey Bottom farm.

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McCrankies Again!
The MaCrankies at WymFest 99Once again it is the reknowned McCrankies who are set to get WymFest 2000 off to a flying start on Friday evening, the Alberta based band are on their annual UK tour. Sax player, Mickie 'the Thief' Katanoom told the Chronicle, "Sure we do Glastonbury, Cambridge and the rest but none of those places is a bit like WymFest." You can hear the McCrankies on WCR

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Dither To Delight!
Rampling Dan Dither Sunday's Final Act this year will be '70s icon Rampling Dan Dither. Dither, originally from Rock Island, settled in Wymsey last year and has entertained villagers on many a Friday night in the Crown and Thorns. "Man I'm looking forward to this gig and I'm busy putting a retrospective set together. Most of my original band will be on stage and we sure as hell are gonna steam it," Dither told our reporter.

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Now stocked by the
Chicago Public Library

ISNA

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WymFest On WCR!
Wymsey Community Radio is featuring a number of the artistes and groups appearing at WymFest 2000 including Irene De Mandible, Granny Turnipseed, Rosalie McClain, The McCrankies, Rampling Dan Dither and others. So, for a preview of WymFest's best power up your RealAudio player and pop over to WCR and tune in!

WymFest on the Radio!
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Tomatoshoe Does
WymFest Proud!

Click to visit TomatshoeArmitage P Shanks arrived in Wymsey this week to erect Tomatoshoe's Travelling Facilities. These state of the art composting toilets are designed for high throughput and decorous behaviour. After last year's fiasco we are delighted to be in the hands of such an able outfit.

It is true to say that the Festival Committee's choice of composting toilets has not been without detractors but that is in the nature of these things. A few weeks ago passions were running high in some quarters and numorous scaremongering notices were put on the Parish Notice Board which provided much entertainment for those that have experienced the Facilities at first hand.


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Dancing Team
Prepare for Wymfest:

The Wymsey Male Pavement Formation Dancing team The Wymsey Male Pavement Formation Dancing team The Wymsey Male Pavement Formation Dancing team We are so very pleased that the Wymsey Male Pavement Formation Dance Team will be demonstrating the skills that made them Regional Champions and national contenders at WymFest 2000. This group of dedicated men have shown us all what hard work and a team spirit can achieve. Although not quite as competitive as the Parish Bell Ringers these guys have a lot to teach us all.

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Veggies' Delight!

No longer tired and emotional, 75 year old Wymsey resident, Vera Snodging, will be pleasing the vegetarians at WymFest with her delicious Vera's VeggiBurgers.

Vera's VeggiBurgers
Vera's burgers are made from a secret recipe that she leant from her mother who had it from George Bernard Shaw on account of how she was part of the Arts and Craft movement.
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Watchester Brewery
Deliver the Goods!

Lambs Ales, feed the soul, the vocal and ensure that Tomatshoe's Travelling Facilities earn their keep. This year Lambs Ales' Watchester Brewery have done their utmost to ensure that everyone has a merry WymFest. They have brewed over 250 barrels of their choice ales and stouts. They will also be dispensing Cuthberts Traditional Wymsey Country Wines including Elderflower Drop Down, Coltsfoot and Dandelion Premium Cordial, Burdock Burgundy, Crab Apple Delight and the always popular Chestnut Champagne. You can hear the Lambs Ales team on WCR.
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Bee Protesters
Sty my Goldstone

A concerted threat of action by Bee Watch UK has forced Goldstone Health Foods to withdraw from WymFest, Goldstone were intending to employ Samuel Stains Singing Bees to entertain customers. Diana Hunter of Bee Watch UK pointed out, rightly, the cruel exploitation involved.

Bertram Fig, of Goldstone, became most upset and posted notices in capital letters on the Parish Notice Board announcing the withdrawal of his Company. As the Notice Board shows, the plight of these bees was deeply felt by villagers. Granny Turnipseed put it well when she said, "Yell not miss them 'health foods what is full of grit, just you come over to Granny's and get me chitlins down your throat."


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A Happy WymFest 2000 to all our readers in
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania.
Mechanicsburg, Bland County, Virginia.
Mechanicsburg, Illinois.
and Mechanicsburg, Ohio.
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