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Thinking about marriage, the past, the mistakes and the learnings I realised how much I have grown up since my divorce in 1987. There are a number of people who were instrumental in helping me to become a responsible & responsive man. In all humility, I also acknowledge that part of me that always strove towards autonomy and who never gave up.

Being a geeky man, I have included a technical section to show what I have used in the creation of our wedding website.

Charlie: Spectrum is a centre for humanistic psychology in London and all the significant therapists that I have been involved with came out of Spectrum. In particular Rex Bradley who showed what a caring father was like and Dianna Carruthers whose patience & respect for me showed me aspects of the 'perfect mother'. Taking part in the Spectrum One Year Course in Psychotherapy and it's continuation year produced reverberations through my life that continue to challenge and expand me. Working with Jenner Roth and Terry Cooper was always a challenge for me and led me to question what caring for someone was really about. Spectrum introduced me to the work of Virginia Satir who pioneered family therapy in the USA and whose writing show her to be the most human of therapists. Her Book, People Making and the later New People Making contain all that we need to ensure our children grow feeling at home in this world. Her " My Declaration of Self Esteem" never ceases to move me: "I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay." From Self Esteem by Virginia Satir Scores of people participating in many personal development groups have supported and challenged me over the years and for the six or so years that I worked as a therapist there was much I leaned from my clients. Particularly I thank the men I have worked with over the years. Mara: I was thinking I should thank Al Gore for creating the Internet, then I thought I should thank the Microsoft QuickStart Team for showing me how to use a PC in 1989 (while I got paid for it, hee hee) but then I remembered all the women at Romance Writers of America who live and breathe this romance stuff, and like a 160-member rescue team gave me creative oxygen for four years. This could get complicated, take notes if you have to. There are lots of folks who brought me to this point. Not just the physical place of meeting Charlie, but the mental place that allowed me to love him as I do. Thomas Cooper, MFCC, is five years younger than me, and a million years wiser. He and the therapists before him tried to help me define what love is. Tom managed to actually get me to do it. Then I thought, talk about trying to get me to reach higher, dream bigger, what about Elaine Reichert and Jan Tracy? They mothered me into the new millennium, with advice on writing and true guidance in life, where I could choose my way, but they gave me the information I needed, freely and with love. Carol Etchebarren offered shelter and her friendship; and Patricia Barnum has listened to ALL my songs, dreary, manic and ecstatic, nearly every day for thirteen years. Her love for her Englishman, Kevin Geary , is inspiring, too, she's a value-added friend! Scott Coombs and his wife Orla showed me that you can leave California for the UK and not turn back into a pumpkin! We'll be neighbors soon, well almost. My mother, Florence Johnson Rosen, has been the soul of patience with a daughter who goes in too many directions at once. Her spirituality lights me up. I miss her already! I want to hug and smooch my brothers Henry Warwick and Dan Rosen, and sister-in-law Janet Rosen, who took a major interest in Charlie and made him feel at home. Hugs to all my other brothers, Matt, Thad, and Tim, did you guys know you always have a place to crash in Southampton? I have many cousins and aunts and uncles who have always had a kind word for me, and an interest in my doings, I'm always grateful for their memories and family stories. I will try harder to correspond, having my own web site will certainly help. Samuel Johnson Laidig, the Ring Boy, is my best boy and my only boy, and deserves a medal and every Lego alive for loving his mum through good times and bad. He's a good boy who will be a great and loving man. Mostly there is one man to thank, and that's Charlie. He chose me as consciously and deliberately as any man can possibly choose a woman. He celebrates my successes and mourns my losses with me, but not for me. He's good to me with all his heart. He also has a cute butt. Never marry anyone if their butt doesn't do it for you. His butt is perfect. It really is. And he cooks like a dream. And he sticks up for Sam. And when he says good night to me, my world is folded up neatly, all ready to unfold the next day, soft and new again. He makes the world fit to live in, and I'm grateful. Technical Stuff: This website, like all that I create, conforms to HTML4 and therefore does not require any of that browser specific stuff so beloved of certain browsers. I test my sites using Opera which is only the best browser around! The domain wymsey.co.uk is owned by Charlie and hosted by OneAndOne whose servers are based in Germany. The guestbook is provided free by Guestbook Depot. The site was created using the following software: HTML Editor: Webford V3.0 ( Webford Site ). I learnt HTML on the 16 bit version of Webford and love it's straightforwardness and stability. Validator: CSE Validator V2.5 ( CSE Validator Site ). This freeware program is a lifesaver, especially as it has a spell check! It is also a pretty nifty editor. Images: Banners were created using Ulead PhotoImpact V3.02 which was also used for image manipulation and scanning, the scanner is a Plustek 9636P. FTP: The good people at OneAndOne gave me a whole bunch of software for the price of the postage, and WS-FTP Pro V6.06 alone was worth it! ( WS-FTP PRO Site ) End of geeky interlude!