Overview: I am one of the select band that have heard of me which is kind of cosy. I am very, very old - so old that my walking frame has stabilisers. This naturally means that I have wisdom in bucketfuls, in fact I sweat wisdom on a sunny day but I guess you've realised that by now. Let's not get mawkish here, suffice to say that life has been kind to me in an absent-minded 'who's he?' kind of way. I respect life.

My place in History: Back in 1945 Winston Churchill, on hearing that my mother was pregnant, phoned a couple of his chums in Washington for help to bring peace to these shores in order to make it a place safe for babies to be born in. He asked to borrow six tanks, a few bombers, some chewing gum and 3000 pairs of nylons. His chums, who liked to make big gestures sent over what was requested plus a million tins of spam ( we still have 950,000 tins left in a bomb proof shelter three miles down in a disused Welsh coal mine ).

As history shows, Churchill's chums soon saved Britain, made the world safe for the development of multinational congloborates and I was born. It is strange to note that a year after my birth the nursing home was burnt to the ground (everyone was rescued) but it just proves how kind life has been to me or perhaps that, at the age of one, I was already upsetting the British security forces who probably wouldn't have known 1945 from 1946.

Not long after the arrival of peace the electorate put Churchill out to grass giving him more time to paint and to focus on going gaga. This latter state seems to be one that befalls most British ex-prime ministers.

A psychiatrist interjects: It is highly unlikely that a person, even one of Churchill's calibre would be able to focus on going gaga.

Enough of history.

this sofa is proudly registered at BigSofa, #0027